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Stories from within
   

Horse


Neigh! Neigh!



Oddenstein: "Come back with my horse, that's the last bit of voice I've got left."



Monument having tripped and concertina-ed over a gnomon: "What a grumpy looking gnome."



Gnomon: "Speak for yourself, sunshine, if you had t sit out in all weathers on top of that sun dial, getting blamed for t weather, you'd be looking a bit miserly."



Oddenstein with frog, who is holding a large torch while standing on 'Stein's tongue and is examining the throat: "Croak"



Frog: "Watch it Boyo, I do the frog jokes round here."



Sound of thunderous knocking on the floor boards and Muffin the Mule strides past: "Someone want me?"



Oddenstein: "I'm looking for a horse."



The mule cocks his head, looks round and heel kicks a circular tin in Oddenstein's direction, which hits the frog who disappears into the deep darkness of the throat.



Some time later and with much vituperation the frog re-appears and is rolling the tin along and dragging a helmet and light while eating a Cornish Pasty.



Frog: "There you go Boyo, good as new."



Oddenstein: "--------"



Frog: "Well you've got to give it a bit of time to soak in."



A flipper grabs the frog and another flipper grabs the tin...



Oddenstein: "AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhhhhh!!!"



Frog: "Works every time, Boyo, nothing like these psychosomatic episodes for putting a crimp in your flippers."



Oddenstein, holding up a tin of dubbin: "Where's my horse?"



Frog, doing immitations of 'toed' in the 'ole: "Look you, you said to fix your voice, I've done that, see."



Oddenstein: "Yes, so where is the horse?"



Frog: "What horse?"



Oddenstein: "The sound I usually make. Like a rusty saw in the valley bottom on a truly frosty day."



Frog: "About the only thing you'd get then, Boyo, would be 'hoars'."


Chris Green